When I love; I gain. When I'm broken I'm made strong. In my weakness you triumph. Despite this knowledge I fail. Help me Lord find my real essence, the true me. If i'm made like you, what is in me that is causing my inability to forgive. Where does these emotions come from? where does ego come from? Why do I feel betrayed, unaccepted and unloved.
Why do I even want to be loved and accepted? You cried out from the cross "Father forgive, for they know not what they do". Did you not have emotions, ego and pain? How did you handle it? Was it your mission or your love unconditional or both that gave you strength?
What is my mission, purpose and nature? It is to love unconditionally and be broken to nourish others like you did. I realize then how much more I must do this for the women of my life whom you gave me. I fight with You over the gift I have received from You. You could not have made a mistake.
It is a perfect gift!. It is my imperfections that question the gift and the Giver. You gave her to me because you trusted me. I must expect nothing in return when I love. I give, give and give... Pain is redemptive. You proved it on the cross. Unless the grain of wheat falls on the ground and dies, it does not bring forth new life. I must break like your body, the bread on the alter. Life springs out in brokenness. When you join yourself to me in my brokenness, I experience resurrection and a new life. Oh how my pride opposes this union. It makes me focuses on myself when in reality everything belongs to the You. Rejoice in the Lord oh myself