Soother is a Lie

The desire for nourishment is one of the most primal instincts in every human being. From the moment a child is born, it knows without instruction where to turn for sustenance—its mother’s breast. In certain tribal cultures, this truth is vividly demonstrated. Newborns are placed on their mother’s stomach, and without guidance, they instinctively crawl upwards to latch onto the breast. It’s not just a physical act of feeding; it’s a profound moment of connection. When the baby nurses, it receives more than nourishment—it feels loved, wanted, and valued.

Mothers, attuned to their babies’ cries, know exactly what their child needs. This intimate exchange of life and love is a microcosm of the larger truths about human desire and fulfillment. But what happens when this natural desire is unmet? Often, a baby resorts to sucking its thumb—a substitute. The thumb cannot nourish, it cannot fulfill the child’s needs, and it doesn’t convey love or value. Instead, it forms a compulsive habit, a poor substitute for the real thing.

This poignant imagery speaks volumes about our human experience, particularly in the realm of sexuality. Sexual desire is deeply sacramental, designed to point us toward the ultimate union with God. The body’s longings are icons—visible signs that point to the invisible reality of our destiny in God. Yet, in our brokenness, we often exchange these icons for idols.

Icons vs. Idols: The Tragedy of Substitution

When sexual desire arises, it is a call to something greater, a glimpse of the eternal communion we are created for. However, when this desire is not properly understood or directed, we often seek substitutes. Just as the baby sucks its thumb in place of the nourishing breast, we turn to pornography, masturbation, or other distortions of sexuality. These acts, like the thumb, can never truly satisfy. They offer a fleeting illusion of relief while leaving the soul restless, unloved, and unfulfilled.

St. Augustine’s timeless words resonate deeply here: “You have made us for Yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You.” No sexual act, no human relationship, and no physical pleasure can fill the infinite void in our hearts—a void that only God can satisfy. When we turn to these idols, we become trapped in cycles of addiction, seeking fulfillment in things incapable of pointing us beyond themselves.

Redeeming Desire: The Path to True Fulfillment

The key to breaking free from these compulsions lies in recognizing the sacramental nature of our bodies and desires. Sexuality is not merely a biological function or a personal pleasure; it is a sacred sign of our call to union with God. Even within marriage, sexual union is meant to be more than physical—it is a sacrament, a visible sign of the invisible mystery of God’s love.

When marital unions are entered into with this understanding, they become acts of worship, lifting our natural eros (desire) into the realm of agape (self-giving love). This transformation allows us to mirror Christ’s love for the Church—selfless, sacrificial, and life-giving.

Reclaiming the Icon

Next time you experience sexual desire, pause and reflect on its deeper meaning. Rather than turning to idols that leave you empty, let the desire point you toward its true purpose. For those who are single, this may mean channeling that energy into prayer, service, or creative pursuits that glorify God. For married couples, it’s a call to make their union a sacrament, a reflection of God’s covenantal love.

Recognizing this truth requires a shift in perspective. It’s about seeing our bodies and desires not as ends in themselves but as icons that lead us to the eternal. When we embrace this understanding, our restlessness finds its true home in God, and our desires become gateways to the divine.

So let us reject the lie of the soother. Let us refuse to settle for substitutes that can never satisfy. Instead, let us embrace the sacred, allowing our desires to draw us closer to the One who alone can fulfill them. In Him, we find nourishment, love, and the ultimate value that we are longing for.