The Four Stages of Love
1. Loving Self for the Sake of Self
In the beginning, our love is simple and self-centered. We love ourselves because it feels natural, even instinctual. This love is about survival, comfort, and pleasure. At this stage, we are like infants, crying for what we need without considering the giver.
And yet, this love is not without its purpose. It is a necessary foundation, a mirror reflecting our innate desire to be cared for. But if we remain here, we risk becoming trapped in the illusion that we are the center of the universe. True love calls us forward, beyond ourselves.
2. Loving God for the Sake of Self
When we encounter God, it often begins with what He can do for us. We pray for blessings, seek His help in times of trouble, and praise Him when life is good. This is not a bad thing—it is the seed of a relationship.
In this stage, our love for God is transactional. We love Him because He is good to us, because He answers our prayers, because He is the giver of every good gift. It is a love that acknowledges His power and generosity, but it still revolves around our needs.
Yet, even in this stage, God is patient. He draws us closer, showing us that His love is not conditional, and inviting us to love Him in return—not for what He does, but for who He is.
3. Loving God for the Sake of God
This is where love begins to mature. No longer do we approach God with a list of demands or expectations. Instead, we are captivated by His beauty, His holiness, His infinite love. We love Him not for what He gives, but simply because He is God.
This stage is marked by surrender. We begin to see our lives as a gift to be given back to Him. Our prayers shift from “Lord, help me” to “Lord, how can I serve You?” We find joy not in receiving, but in giving—our time, our talents, our very selves.
And yet, even this stage is not the end. For as we pour out our love for God, something miraculous happens.
4. Loving Self for the Sake of God
The final stage of love brings us full circle, but in a transformed way. Here, we learn to love ourselves not for our own sake, but because we are His creation. We see ourselves as He sees us—beloved, precious, and infinitely valued.
This love is not selfish; it is humble. It acknowledges our worth, not because of what we have done, but because of what He has done. In this stage, we embrace our identity as children of God, created in His image and called to reflect His love to the world.
When we love ourselves for the sake of God, we no longer seek approval from others or strive to earn His love. Instead, we rest in the knowledge that we are already loved beyond measure.
The Call to Higher Love
Each stage of love is a step on the journey, a lesson in the school of the heart. We may find ourselves moving back and forth, revisiting old stages as life’s challenges and blessings unfold. But the goal remains the same: to be drawn deeper into the heart of God, where all love begins and ends.
And so, the question remains: where are you on this journey? Wherever you are, know that God is calling you higher, beckoning you into the fullness of His love. Will you take the next step?
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