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Showing posts from March, 2026

When My Nervous System Doesn’t Believe What My Creed Says

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Do you believe the Lord alone is God? Yes. I do. But do I live as though I believe it? That is a harder question. There are moments when a perceived threat — often nothing more than a look, a tone, a subtle shift in someone’s behavior — feels like an attack on my self-worth. Something inside me tightens. My thoughts begin to churn like a washing machine on high spin. My heart rate increases. My chest constricts. In those moments, logic does not make way. Truth struggles to enter. Even if I attempt to “offer it to God,” the prayer feels thin against the force of the emotional surge. The turmoil is stronger than the theology. And that is humbling. Because if I truly believe the Lord alone is God — sovereign, loving, holding all things together — why does a small perceived rejection feel like annihilation? I am beginning to see that the issue is not a lack of belief. It is that my nervous system has not yet fully learned what my intellect professes. There is a part of me — perhap...

When Fear Masquerades as Humility

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One of my greatest fears is not failure, or suffering but rejection. There is something uniquely destabilizing about standing before the very people who once dismissed you, misunderstood you, or pushed you aside. And this is precisely where we find Moses. God calls him back — back to Egypt, back to Pharaoh, back to the memories. Back to the place where his story fractured. He must stand before the same world that once rejected him. Speak again. Risk again. And we are told that Moses struggles with speech. “I am slow of speech and tongue,” he says. We often read this as a simple physical impediment. But I wonder — was it only that? Perhaps his difficulty with speech carried the echo of an earlier wound. Shame. Displacement. A fractured identity — Hebrew by birth, Egyptian by upbringing, rejected by both. Rejection has a way of silencing a man long before it weakens his tongue. The deepest stutter is often in the heart. When God insists on sending him, Moses pleads: “I pray,...