When My Nervous System Doesn’t Believe What My Creed Says
Do you believe the Lord alone is God? Yes. I do. But do I live as though I believe it? That is a harder question. There are moments when a perceived threat — often nothing more than a look, a tone, a subtle shift in someone’s behavior — feels like an attack on my self-worth. Something inside me tightens. My thoughts begin to churn like a washing machine on high spin. My heart rate increases. My chest constricts. In those moments, logic does not make way. Truth struggles to enter. Even if I attempt to “offer it to God,” the prayer feels thin against the force of the emotional surge. The turmoil is stronger than the theology. And that is humbling. Because if I truly believe the Lord alone is God — sovereign, loving, holding all things together — why does a small perceived rejection feel like annihilation? I am beginning to see that the issue is not a lack of belief. It is that my nervous system has not yet fully learned what my intellect professes. There is a part of me — perhap...