The Hidden Freedom of Not Choosing

This morning at Mass, another simple sight stirred a deeper question.

A few religious sisters came forward to help distribute Holy Communion. They were dressed in modest saris—ordinary, simple, and varied in pattern and colour—clearly chosen more for purpose than for style.

A thought crossed my mind:

Did they choose those saris themselves? Or were they simply given to them by their superior?

And if they did not choose them, did they actually like them?

That question lingered.

A Life With Fewer Choices

For most of us, daily life is a long series of personal preferences.

We choose what to wear.
What to eat.
Which soap to use.
Which shampoo smells best.
What color shirt suits us.
Where to sit.
What hairstyle we want.
Which side of the bed feels more comfortable.

From morning to night, much of our energy revolves around one question:

What do I want?

There is nothing inherently wrong with having preferences. God created us as unique persons, not robots.

But the danger is subtle.

If every small decision revolves around my comfort, my taste, and my desires, then without realizing it, I become the center of my own universe.

My life begins to orbit around self.

The Discipline of Religious Life

The monastic life confronts this tendency head-on.

A religious sister or brother often does not choose many of the things we take for granted.

They wear what is given.
They eat what is served.
They live where they are sent.
They pray when the bell rings.
They work where obedience directs them.

This is not because their individuality does not matter.

It is because they are being trained in a deeper freedom.

The freedom to say:

“My happiness does not depend on getting my own way.”

That is a profound spiritual achievement.

Freedom Through Renunciation

The world tells us that freedom means having more options.

The Gospel reveals that true freedom is the ability to choose the good even when it is not what we prefer.

A person who must always have his favorite food, preferred seat, ideal temperature, or most comfortable arrangement is not truly free.

He is ruled by his appetites.

But the person who can receive what is given with gratitude has begun to master himself.

And self-mastery is the foundation of virtue.

Masculinity and the Battle Against Comfort

In yesterday’s reflection on authentic masculinity—What St. Thomas Aquinas Says About True Masculinity—we saw that manhood is not measured by physical strength, dominance, or image.

For St. Thomas Aquinas, a truly masculine man is one who is governed by reason and strengthened by virtue.

He does what is right, not merely what feels good.

He chooses the noble over the comfortable.

He stands firm when his lower desires urge him to seek ease.

That battle often unfolds in very ordinary moments.

When I want to lean against the wall for comfort, can I choose to stand upright?

When food I dislike is served, can I receive it gratefully?

When circumstances are inconvenient, can I remain peaceful?

When I do not get my preferred option, can I surrender cheerfully?

These are small decisions.

But they shape the soul.

The Danger of Softness

We live in a culture that conditions us to eliminate every inconvenience.

Instant comfort.
Instant entertainment.
Instant gratification.

The result is often a quiet softness of soul.

We become less resilient.
Less disciplined.
Less willing to sacrifice.

The Christian tradition has always recognized that habitual comfort can weaken the will.

A man who cannot deny himself in small things will struggle to sacrifice in great things.

A husband must sacrifice.
A father must endure.
A disciple must carry the cross.

Virtue grows when we choose what is true and good over what is merely pleasant.

The Daily Monastery

Most of us are not called to wear habits or take vows.

But every home can become a kind of monastery.

Each day presents opportunities to surrender our preferences:

• Accept the less comfortable option.
• Listen before speaking.
• Serve without recognition.
• Eat with gratitude.
• Let others have their way.
• Embrace interruptions patiently.

These hidden acts of self-denial are not insignificant.

They are the training ground of holiness.

A Prayer for True Freedom

Lord, deliver me from the tyranny of my preferences.

Teach me to choose what is true rather than what is easy.
What is good rather than what is pleasing.
What is loving rather than what is convenient.

When my small world demands to be served,
help me rise above it.

Strengthen my will.
Purify my desires.
Train my heart in gratitude.

Make me free enough to accept what is given,
strong enough to embrace sacrifice,
and generous enough to live for You and for others.

Amen.