How Our Wounds Can Kill Conversation
From Self-Protection to the Freedom to Truly See Another Person There is something I have been thinking about lately that is both uncomfortable and strangely hopeful: What if some of the conversations I thought were simply awkward, dry, or difficult were actually conversations in which I was trying to feel safe? What if my inability to keep a conversation alive was not simply a lack of social skill? What if, underneath it, there was insecurity? A fear of being insignificant. A fear of being judged. A need to appear competent, interesting, knowledgeable or important. A need, somehow, to feel bigger so that I would not have to feel small. And if that is true, then perhaps I need to look at conversation differently. Because conversation is not merely about knowing what to say. It is about being present to another human being. And perhaps trauma can interfere with that presence in ways we don't immediately recognize. When I am not safe inside When a person has experienced enough emotio...